I had to abandon work on Friday, after nearly passing out while in a discussion with a client. I’d been feeling none too great all morning. Went home and spent most of the remainder of the day in bed. A weekend of taking it easy and I feel largely back on track.

I think a couple of weeks of poor sleep, anxiety about various things, busyness at work and little to no breathing space in between all caught up on me. I was aware of the anxiety building - my chest had been feeling tighter all week. Without taking steps to give myself a break it’s not really surprising then that my body finally said enough is enough.

Funnily, I’d been reading about perfectionism earlier in the week. Recognised the trait in myself. Never cutting myself any slack.

Just when you think this adulting thing is getting easier…..

Looking at my options for moving the blog away from Netlify.

Been doing a daily meditation for 3 months now, bar a couple of days missed.

I have seen some very small benefits, I think, but also a lot of criticism towards myself. Barely any change in my ability to focus, which is just for a second or two before my mind wanders. And now I’m nodding off a lot.

Parking the whole idea for now.

Most years we get a few common whitethroats in the area where we live. Usually see them sitting atop a hedge or clump of brambles singing. Not that it’s that much of a song - short and scratchy. But I rather like it.

I’ve been hearing one for the last week when I’m out in the garden. Even heard it coming from somewhere within the garden. Then on Sunday while I was sitting outside, it turned up for a bit of a splash in our birdbath. Then sat in a nearby bush and had a good preen. And again yesterday.

Which was really rather delightful.

Holidays present the possibility of reading a lot more than I usually find time for. In theory. In practice, they often don’t. The holiday I have just had, the first since 2019 aside from a few days here or there, has been the exception.

Consequently, I was able to pick up on Robert Wright’s Why Buddhism is True from where I left off and finish it.

Wright is someone who is not content to accept ideas on face value, in a good way. He has so many questions that he explores. This appeals to me. I think the book can be approached in two ways. Stop at every point and consider what is being said, at the risk of losing sight of the overarching theme. Or read through the whole thing so as to get the main ideas and then go back in detail.

I think the latter is the better approach and I will certainly be revisiting it again.

I see there is a recurrence of the problem I had with Netlify not properly deploying the blog when there is a new post. Harrumph.